One of the most dangerous myths about men who murder an girlfriend/wife (to a lesser degree, this also applies to women who murder a boyfriend/husband) is that there is always a history of physical abuse in the relationship leading up to the murder. While this is true in 80 percent of the cases, twenty percent of the time, the first time an ex lays a hand on the person he murders is during the breakup. Coercive control, educational sabotage, etc. are clear warning signs of a potential for violence, even in the absence of a history of physical harm.